EPISODE 4 – Mahabharatha.

NOTE: The Blog can contain very little fiction and the speculations are mentioned as one. Stanch believers of the Indian mythology please don't feel bad.

The last episode left all the occupants of the hall tired. They were laughing their guts out. The confused look on the roomies face was still there. A tinge of red was an addition to his cheeks. Raka said while leaving to the bathroom “I want to take a crap! I ate so much, now all the laughing has made me a bit unstable.”
When Raka came out of the bathroom he said “I can’t find any way of closing the tap. I don’t know what is wrong” This was the time their roomy was waiting for; it was his time to rip on them. He blurted out “You drunk fools! You guys just act smart, you can’t even close a tap.” Raka could not believe that he could not close a tap. All his spectacular build could do was to weigh him down. He always thought that the booze made him stronger. He felt like a waste in life and very dejected of his being.
Finally when the sheepish smile on the roomy gave out his real purpose of the talk, he realized that the roomy was trying to rip on him he blurted out “If you do feel that Hero! Go ahead and try closing the tap!” he went into the bathroom and struggled with the tap for fifteen minutes. He comes out and says “How can I close the tap if when Raka could not close it” There was laughter, rolling and sweeping in the hall again.
From the slumber pose 1 raises a hero, the enigmatic and the mysterious Mr.Ass. He just walked into the bathroom and just shuts the tap as if he had shut it always. There were two stupefied figure standing expressionless. What their thoughts were no one could actually tell. They themselves could not tell about the feeling that was gripping them. The feeling could be only explained as of awe and a kind of fear of the superiors which subs expressed.
This triggered Mr.Ass’s spirit and he starts off with his great lectures on ‘pot’. Most part of the lecture is spanned Mahabharata era.
He goes on “During the churning of the great oceans, there came out great treasures from the ocean bed. Lord Vishnu was very interested and wanted to actively take part in the churning. His reason for the active participation was that he knew about something which the equally foolish devas and asuras never knew. He took up the koorma avatar for being the base and lent his Vasuki, the giant multi faced snake on which he rests. The Vasuki was used as a rope to churn the ocean. The first thing that came out was the amurutha and then came lots of valuable substances from the ocean floor. Among it was the herb named ‘Kali’ which seemed to have a calming influence on the body. The existence and usage was never known by the foolish asuras and devas but for tri gods of Hindu mythology.
Devas and the asuras fought like idiots for the ‘amurutha’. Poor guys little did they know the strengths of the harmless looking green herb. The tri gods took it for themselves. When the ‘ganga’ was trapped by Lord Shiva to arrest the flow of the water from heaven she got a part of the herb.”
I think Lord Shiva here looks like a sadoo baba with a cheroot by the side of his ear. Mr.Ass emphasizes on “She liked it so much that she planted it along her banks. This is how the herb gets its new name, very familiar to all of us here ‘Ganja’. This is just my speculation though. When the Americans were introduced to this new world they called it ‘Mary Jane’, and hence also the name ‘Marijuana’.”
Mr.Ass poses a question to all his pupils who were sitting there in awe and admiration of their teacher “Why do you think Lord Vishnu is always in a slumber pose even when he knows he is going to have guests?” The blank faces of his pupils made him a bit annoyed but he quickly answered his own question. “He is so stoned man! What can a stoned man do! Just lie down and laugh at the world.” The mood of the crowd changed. Everyone wanted to laugh and they laughed their guts out.
The second question came their way “Why do you think Vasuki breaths out smoke?” He answers without a moment’s gap “You know Vasuki is a drug addict. He tasted the J when he was in the ocean he could never let it go” Laughter got intense with the pupils gripping their tummies and rolling all over the floor.
The Third question came “Why do you think Lord Vishnu sleeps on Goddess Lakshmi’s lap while lying down on the Vasuki” The answer was quicker “She is his peddler! She keeps it in her pallu. ” (To the people who know a lot less about peddlers. A female peddler in India would always hide the pot in her pallu). Only a few slurred, bleak and half-muted words came from the laughing stock “yeah! Right”
The laughter went on and when his pupils took a breath he posed one more question “Why do you think Kauravas lost?” others had a puzzled look. Then Raka says “It is very well known as to why they lost! Where does the question point to?” Mr.Ass speaks with a calm composure “Kauravas lost because the Pandavas had Lord Krishna on their side (An avatar of Lord Vishnu).All Lord Krishna did was handed the Kauravas the J. Poor Kauravas never had it and they were all down on the ground during the war, laughing like idiots. The clever Pandavas had their pot before as they had a good contact, Lord Krishna. Their spirits were high and they won the fight.” The pupils had nothing to say for they could say nothing. All they could do was laugh and they did it to the extreme.
Mr.Ass says “One last thing! Mangal Pandey was one of us. That was the only fact for which he was kicked out of the British army. Habitual potter and hence removed from his office. It stirred a revolution! Now you know the power of ‘pot’! Don’t you?”
With this inspirational speech the day had to end. All the lecturing made both the pupil and the teacher sleepy. They were in no state to anything else.
There ends the night which started about 7 hours before. All the facets of their lives have been explained in these few hours. I say all of the facets because their sober lifestyles are real suck as*. This is the only things these morons can do but they do it the best.

Wait! It’s not over yet! I am really busy and would have my friend Mr.Ass to help me out with the blogs. Mr.Ass will write a few blogs to refresh your minds and help me out.


- Bye


1 The slumber pose: Sleeping in an inclined sideways position with the arm used as the head rest.